Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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