Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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