I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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