the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
