I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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