Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
