There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
