Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
