small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
