Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
