nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
