He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I want a musical about memes.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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