and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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