Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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