Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I am one with the molecules
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
