I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize