we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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