People in love make me want to vomit
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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