Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize