I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
