i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
