i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
