Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
