I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
