K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
