That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
