Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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