Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
