Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
