The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
