I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
