oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize