you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
