"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
