Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
