you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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