the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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