JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize