i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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