i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
