For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
