So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
