The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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