On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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