He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize