he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
