i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
