dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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