I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize