the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She bit a glass in half.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
