Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
