Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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