I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
