I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
