so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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