Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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