I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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