Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
