Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I wish you could order shots online.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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