Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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