I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
