he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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