In the future we'll all be gay
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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