either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
