Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize