I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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